The perfect evening

~ Beer with a friend after work ~

~ Good movie with my favourite cousin ~

~ Debrief complete with tea and laughs ~

~ Walk outside in the balmy summer Perth night ~

~ Private Practice double episode ~

The perfect evening after the crappiest day.

Sx

Balls

I think I need to grow some balls. (Please excuse the crassness, but I feel its appropriate in this instance.)
Hmmm, note in my sentence I say "I think", this is what I'm talking about. I need to be more decisive, not be afraid of making mistakes, understand and accept my weaknesses, be more assertive and understand that I'm not going to be seen as mean or loose friends over the fact that I'm purely communicating clearly what I want and what I don't want. 
I've always had strong people in my life who I have looked to for guidance and advice. This has often gone beyond guidance and advice and I've ended up foregoing what I want in order to please others. 
The reason for my big bold "need to stop this bulls**t right now" is that I'm trying to find a house. This has been going on for months, and by months, I mean over a year! I'm s**t scared about making a mistake, I'm s**t scared about blowing a substantial amount of money on a house that doesn't work out to be a 'smart investment'. I'm trying so hard to be smart about this purchase (my very own first home) that I'm completely dismissing opportunities that may not be quite perfect or fit my very detailed list, or alternatively I've been procrastinating for so long that I've missed houses who have gone to more deserving (ie decisive) people. 
Now I don't really want to do this, because its so cliché, but I blame my mother. As much as I love her dearly, she has fostered in me a strong level of self disbelief. And it all stems back to when she was 17 and bought a car without getting her dad to 'look over it'. Now my grandfather, whilst amazing, was not a mechanic, he was a farmer, and in my mum's eyes that means he can turn his hand at anything. It goes without saying that the $200 mini morris was a lemon, but we still tell stories of it! So that $200 car, while not being the most reliable of vehicles, has given us 30 years of stories and laughter, not a bad 'investment' after all...
So my mum wants my dad (also a farmer) to look over any house I want to look at. Which is almost impossible, he lives 3 hours away and is in the early stages of a very busy harvest, which then leads to his 'stand ins'... My brothers (ditto with busy-ness), my brother in law (also not a builder or realtor), my male friends (geologists, engineers - not structural, lawyers, IT consultants etc etc), my female friends (teachers, lawyers, enviro consultants, etc). So no one I know who is more qualified than me. So why don't I just make the decision about whether I put in an offer on a house or not? Anyone? (the beauty of a non-readership) I thought as much...
So with this in mind, I have just sent an email to the agent of a very cute little duplex'd house in a beautiful street to ask to have a look through a second time. I have already fallen in love with the idea of this house, god help me!
Sx