Home sweet Home

I'm homeless, well not in the strictly speaking "I live without a roof over my head" homeless. I'm homeless in the sense of "I feel like I'm living in someone else's home and I want to put down roots of my own" homeless. 


I live in a home that was already furnished when I moved in, which was handy; I sold my furniture when I left Sydney 4 years ago and haven't needed to buy any since. But this means I don't feel settled. I am rarely at home (haven't eaten there in over 2 weeks) and on weekends I leave early and arrive home late. The house is owned by my parents (whom are farmers) so I rent it at extremely low rent and a great location. But I want my own home.


I'm conflicted, I'm buying a home by myself (singlish remember) and I'm trying to be extremely sensible about it, this will be the biggest item I've bought by a long shot. And coming from a long line of farmers, I'm trying to buy a house on a little tiny bit of land as opposed to a unit or a villa. I've been at this for months. Extending the already long list of suburbs I'll consider, changing my mind about renovated vs "character", tossing up between 2 or 3 bedrooms, calculating how much gardening time I can dedicate each week and on and on. 


I've come close to only 1 property that I quite liked and considered putting in an offer on. But that was sold for considerably more money than I was willing to pay for it. And so the search continues.


I know I'll find it; my character cottage on 400sqm of land, close to the city with only minor work needed to make it sparkling, for a bargain price. 


Fingers crossed 
Sx 

Friday Musings... I love Fridays!

Fridays mornings are generally my most hellish time during the week, people wanting me to do just one more thing before the weekend. The company I work for/kinda own (still can't get my head around it 2 years down the track), consults and manages some other companies (vague, but I want to keep it like that) who all have oversea's interests, so we have a lot of international deadlines. So come oh 1pm, my afternoon is fabulous (generally). The guys I set up my company with and I, very much subscribe to the view that we are a lifestyle company first and foremost. So we long lunch most Friday's. I love them, tucked up inside a cosy restaurant drinking bottles of pinot in Winter, or out in a sunny courtyard when we have one of those magical winter days (crisp air, but the sun is out so warming us up) with a crisp SSB or two. And then leave early to start Friday night drinks with my friends. 
To add to my beautiful Friday, (which miraculously involves an un-forecast sunny day!) the blogs I trawl as a matter of course on my mornings have mostly included beautiful sunny flower arrangements. So I share with you, a beautiful arrangement from the team at Design*Sponge. 
Have a fabulous weekend.


Sx

Double Dose

Is it kosher in the blogging world to delete blog entries? I’m pretty certain I don’t want to become a blog whinging about my friends or the cost of petrol. I wouldn’t want to read that and I’m pretty sure that my non-existent readers don't want to read it either.  So what are my alternatives? A witty commentary regarding my current crochet project? I don’t think so.

So I find myself right back to my very first post, already, only 6 posts in and I’m repeating my content. Apologies.

I’m thinking of creating a list. You see I’m not fabulous about completing anything. I have a very low tolerance to extended projects. But like everyone, I have a list. On my list…

a)Sail around the Whitsunday’s with a beloved/many beloveds for an extended holiday

b)Learn to play the guitar

c)Finish a babette crocheted rug

d)Buy a house

e)Learn how to speak either French, Italian or German

f)Get fit

So now I need to find a way of motivating myself to complete these goals. I’m the queen of procrastinating – even as I type I’m thinking, “I could get up early tomorrow morning, however it will probably still be raining and if I was going to get up early I should already be asleep, I can’t walk in the rain as I’m still recovering from a cold” et al.

I’m thinking bite sized pieces, which should be easy, right? Example, the babette rug, the individual squares each take from 5 minutes to about 30 mins depending on the size to complete. Easy huh.

My first short term goal to reach my Ultimate goal ‘c’ is to complete 10 squares a week. I figure a week rather than a day gives me cramming time. And as I need loads of small squares, in theory this target will be extremely easy to reach, (I need 128 squares of varying size in total). Yikes, so if I only just manage to make my weekly targets this rug will take me months to complete! But I guess if will be complete…

Ok, I’m heading to bed now to contemplate my new goal and to work out ways of tackling my other goals in bite sized chunks.

Sweet dreams

Sx

 Just to prove I can do it, here are some squares I prepared earlier ;-) 

Struggle Town

I’m struggling today. The weather is getting me down, its supposed to be spring and we just have overcast days and rain here in Perth at the moment, I’d rather spend my day either a) sitting in a coffee shop with a friend and/or good book b) curled up on my couch under a blanket watching a movie or c) sitting at home on my computer scanning blogs and my favourite website wishing I didn’t get paid so much money doing something I’m only ‘ho-hum’ about at the moment.
But the straw that’s breaking my back at the moment is someone close to me going is through a tough time at the moment and being extremely negative and moody.
Now I’m generally an upbeat sort of person who can manage not to be too affected by the moods of others, but this is really starting to get me down. I can empathise with this friend; they’re going thru some tough stuff at the moment, and they’re the sort of person who wears their heart on their sleeves, nothing is hidden. But they’re starting to take me down with them! I’m struggling at the moment not to hide myself away from them to wait out the storm. I can feel my anxiety levels rising and I keep telling myself to breath. This friend also works with me, very closely and in a very small office, so I feel like I’m tippy toeing around the place constantly. What do I do?!?!?
This brings me to my second problem; I’m posting this on a blog, which has no audience (well I don’t think I do). Am I posting this in the hope that once I put it out into the blogosphere, I will feel like my problem has been shared (or rather aired) and then I can put it behind me and move forward?
I’m a big fan of the Bossy Blog on news.com.au, Bossy is a psychotherapist and holds nothing back. Her advice is sensible and blunt. My guess with most the of the people who write in, is that as soon as they hit that send button (and sometimes earlier) they cotton on to what advice is going to be give and what path they will be taking before Bossy has had a chance to unleash herself. So I wonder if the same will happen to me.

Sx

Back in Happier times, circa 1983. Pre Lil Sis, I loved that heart headband!

Perth Appreciation Society

I love Perth, I really do, mostly.

§ I love that it takes me 15 minutes to drive to work when I live on the other side of the CBD to my office

§ I love that even though my friends live suburbs away they are all still no more than 20 minutes away

§ I love that the beach is so accessible to everyone and that it doesn’t cost a cent to park there all day

§ I love that my family are all in this state, if not in the city with me

§ I love that people are so relaxed

§ I love that mostly, things are not too expensive

§ I love the fresh air, Kings Park, cycling around the river and Sunday Sessions.

There are things I don’t like, naturally. However, I’m only focusing on the positives at the moment… So I won’t mention them here. ;-)

Ok, using poetic licience, this is @ Redgate near Margaret River

Friday Musings... Big Sis/Lil Sis

I'm waiting for my niece to arrive for her quick 30 minute visit to the office (well, its supposed to be a quick visit, but its never only 30 mins)... My baby sister (the mother of said niece) is due to have her second child in a few weeks and is currently dealing with some health issues so has frequent visits to the Dr/Hospital for checkups. So little Miss C is a frequent visitor to our office, she loves it, sitting at my desk, typing on my keyboard and picking up my phone to talk to Joel (her current crush, she's just turned 2 mind you...).
This whole health scare for Lil Sis has made me realise just how ingrained the Big Sis/Lil Sis relationship is for me. My Lil Sis is 6 years younger than me and we have two brothers between me and her. When we were very young, she was just a little doll to me, when I was a teenager, she was the embarrassing little sister who would pull my skirt down in front of all my friends and just hang around, loitering... And then I went to boarding school, she was still in primary school and with the farm hours away from the city, I didn’t see my family much at all. Then… I moved to Sydney with a boyfriend pretty much a year after leaving school, so I only saw my family on bi-yearly holidays; for the next 9 years. However during that time, Lil Sis started at boarding school herself, and so began the weekly phone calls, talking about how inedible the food was, how strict the house mistresses were, and how much we missed the farm, and after boarding school, the weekly phone calls continued… She flew to Sydney at the drop of a hat when my relationships ripped my world apart and all I could do was sob on the phone, devastated that my dreams had been shattered, she taught me that I wasn’t the only protective one.
When I moved back to Perth, I moved in with her and her then boyfriend, where we lived reasonably harmoniously for 2 years, surviving a surprise pregnancy, wedding and very difficult infancy for Miss C – all happened to Lil Sis, my life continued on an even keel. I still only live a 3 minute drive from Lil Sis and see her roughly 6 days a week. Particularly now her pregnancy is going through some difficulties.
I love her fiercely and want to protect her from being hurt, but I struggle to remember to live my own life and not smother her and hers, and probably most importantly that I don’t always have to be 3 minutes away. That by giving Lil Sis, her hubby and Miss C space, that they will have the chance to develop their own little family dynamics. Hmmm, it would appear I not only dispense self help advice to friends, I can provide the advice to myself also… But will I take the advice?
Hugs to all the Big and Lil Sisters out there.
Sx


And because she will (probably) never know, here's a pic of my Lil Sis, aged about 2... x

Friends

I'm one of those people who has very few close friends, but they're from all walks of life, all stages of my life, all manner of ages and scattered throughout the world. They mean the world to me and these are the people I will laugh as easily as cry with and for. They flit in and out of my life constantly, sometimes intensely for months on end, sometimes for 10 minutes every year.

I had one such dear friend call me this morning; we pick up our conversation immediately from where it was left off a month ago. A mild crisis she is facing, I love M dearly. She has helped me through many a crisis of my own, and true to our relationship, there was laughter and tears in our short 30 minute conversation. She is a Spanish/Filipino whirlwind, so everything is just spinning nicely just waiting to unleash itself on the world. I admire her greatly, she is passionate about everything she does, one glance at her and you know exactly how she's feeling. I feel so removed from my emotions and life compared to her, she knows where she wants to be, she's just struggling to recognise the path to get there. Which is where I come in, me, the sensible, 'straight laced' girl. I'm the one who gently prods her back onto the path, gently props her up when she’s feeling like she just can’t do it alone, and hugs her and sends her off into the world until the next deviation. And she will get there, I have no doubts in my mind.

Hugs

S x